Due your Duty

For $15 a day no less. Luckily, my employer pays me for a full day if any Jury Duty is required so I think of it like a really weird educational vacation.

Speaking of my employer… I got setup with a faux meeting the other day. I should have realized it too since it was set for 8am. A time my boss knows is next to inhuman to request from me. What actually happened that morning was a surprise visit from the CEO, the assembly of my whole department and the opening line… Daniel…

*HOLY CRAP* I thought, what did I do…

“You are the Mercy Hospital Employee of the Month!”, he delivered comfortably followed by a firm hand shake.

Wowsers! I didn’t see this coming and although the guilty part of me doesn’t feel like the employee of the month lately, I have done some herculean tasks in my tenor here so I won’t give back the title.

So now I have an amazing dedicated parking spot for this month, 100 extra bucks, free food coupons and various trinkets. Plus the recognition of my status which leads me to randomly proclaim things like…

“The EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH decrees that everyone must go home early today!”

“The EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH decrees that lunches have been extended to two hours!”

…and so forth.

Meanwhile, normal life continues and consists of…

• Playing way too much World of Warcraft
• Pruning my MST3k video collection
• Attempting to finish a side project for a customer that can procrastinate as much as I do.
• Did I mention World of Warcraft?

Well, in the short term I’ll be in Jury Duty playing Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories during the breaks if you need me.

Did anyone realize I was collecting money from hookers right under the bailiffs nose?