One of the pleasures of maturing is an increased awareness of self.

Relaxation, meditation, life experience and even strenuous physical exercise all garner more understanding. Through them you’ll learn your strengths, weaknesses and core desires. After that, a calming sense of self which aids you in all your tasks.

Gains are usually incremental but occasionally something spectacular will happen.

Poof lay still, the springy couch pushing back up against his rather long body. His mind was drifting quite pleasurably, thoughts flowing fast, free and without judgement. An addictive state which he was well aware of enjoying.

The pace did seem to be accelerating though. “Ah, well“, he thought. The all consuming mental fire that could come next was also enjoyable even though it would leave him consumed and tired.

Something was wrong though and in a blinding flash… a revelation. Too clear to unsee, too simple to deny, all at once beautiful and abhorred.

“No!” he gasped as his torso shot up from the couch. He couldn’t breathe. Time seemed to drag on then after a short eternity…  a breath… then another.

Normality slowly, painfully returned as he spat “no” several more times. Each utterance with less venom than the last. It seemed to satiate him. A last act of rebellion against destiny revealed.

He knew that to have a chance, a real chance at life he would have to set in motion the unthinkable.

“Poof must die” he said with the gravitas of a thousand Sean Connerys.

Did cavemen listen to books on tape? Find out in the archives...

It’s taken some doing but all my content dating back to 2002 is now available.

Some of my most memorable moments below.

Personal

• Damn it feels good to be a programmer!
• Bzzap! Feel the Power!
• Happily Married!
• Prelude
• History of Odn
• Remember Me?
• ARGH
• Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Work

• So long and thanks for all the fish
• Waka Waka Waka
• Work Consumes…
• Due your Duty

There was a time at work, about one year ago, when all seemed mendable. An age of precious 20% time scented with the affrodiasiac of possibilites. Soon to fade along with my hope for an IT department’s redemption during my tenure.

I was saturated with requests but unlike previous years, there was no hope to catch up during typically quiet winter months. Working harder wasn’t the answer either. There is a certain unefficiency and dulling of the mind that comes with inhuman hours. No, the answer would be startlingly similar to a recipe from ”To Serve Man”: add more humans.

Unfortunatly there was a hiring freeze at the time. Volunteers woudln’t cut it either. No, I needed someone who could put in enough quality time to offset the allotment I would surely invest in them. Someone to toil over the horseshoes while I forged a mighty blade in the blazing heat and fierce colds of the server room. An apprentice!

The idea seemed like a perfect fit since I was already fielding web questions and assisting others with various side projects. Surely one of them would be suiteable and have a yearning for learning. So, I drafted a proclamation with an easy challenge and waitied with careful interest to see who would rise to this unique opportunity.

Two weeks later and nary a nibble.

I was ill prepared for the cornucopia of calamity which followed my failed squire search. Lay offs, forced days off , slashed budgets, added duties and more unbearables. This led to the great demoralization of the “survivors” which further shreded any vestigial feelings of hope I still harbored.

Quite some time has passed since the decumbent epoch. I am no longer demoralized, depressed or even depraved (unless it’s a real happening party). No, I’m resolute and proud of all I’ve accomplished. I’m even hopeful for the future again although I know my path lays with another company.

Somewhere out there is a group of free thinkers, hard workers and dress code violators. I hope to join them soon and together we’ll make wonderful websites.