One of my daily destinations is a guiding web page called New Life. A very simple design containing five key concepts integral to my new self. These are Sleep, Fancy Dresser, Grooming, Focus and Freedom.

Of all these, freedom, the most etherial has shown itself of late. For brief interludes yes but a perfumed breeze of moisture is far more than sufficient for a fremen. Invigorated and renewed I find it easy to continue the journey knowing that no matter what happens, I chose the right path.

Much of these feelings are thanks to my new freelancing lifestyle. I choose what I work on, who I work with and have no obligations as a provider until I choose to accept them. Thanks to careful selecting, everything I work on is a tremendous learning font. Each hand crafted creation empowering me with abilities needed for my lifetime goals. No effort wasted, a perfect journey!

When I was a child freedom meant my huffy bicycle. Now that I am older, more nuanced and most importantly, know myself, freedom is so much more. Still, a simple picture of open skies, a classic muscle car and an airport runway evoke everything I need to ascend into the feeling of freedom.

Freedom must be different for each individual but for me, I know what it is, I have tasted it and I will work for it. When it arrives, we’ll go for a drive together. Two old friends reunited at last and with no guilt for the past.

The open road calls. Won’t you join me?

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Resignations seem like one of those taboo subjects that people shy away from so here is one I wrote today.

Very much in my own personal style and flavoured with naval metaphors. Yum!

Letter of Resignation

This letter is official notice of my resignation. My last day will be July 26th, 2011.

I came to Mercy as part of an elite team of handpicked individuals under the leadership of the great Fernando Martinez. The goal, to turn Mercy around and become a shining beacon of the latest technology.  It worked too. We had virtual servers, full system encryption, intrusion protection and more years before anyone else. A golden age of tech.

Rough times were coming though. Economic hardships, budget cuts, management changes and other hardships. Fernando and the team saw that they would be forced to make compromises if they stayed so they rightly moved on to new projects and challenges outside of Mercy. A few of us stayed though. For very different reasons I’m sure.

For me, the mission wasn’t complete yet. I would be crafty, work harder than ever before,  use open source software and do everything in my power to keep Mercy cutting edge. It didn’t work out quite as planned. Information Systems lost people and resources while gaining more responsibility. Soon it was all that we could do but tend to a once beautiful ship, tossed and broken, lost in the high seas with no shore in sight.

Fast forward to today and the ship is docked in the kingdom of the HCA. She is being patched, has new crew and officers getting ready to sail to new lands.

My modified quest is now complete and I’m very proud of my time here. I’m especially fond of all the smart people I’ve worked, played and lived with. You shall be remembered.

Soon I shall be off to new Freelancing adventures and doing what I love the most. Working with technology and making people happy.

May the wind always be at your back and your crew by your side!

^_^

Daniel Gagan
PS – Fun fact, I was born on July 26th at Mercy, hired years later on the same day and now the circle will be complete as my last day will be that very special date.

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I enjoy obsession. It heightens the experience, unlocks edge abilities and provides clarity of purpose. Like any state, it can be taken too far but with understanding it can be transformed from affliction to strength.

I started World of Warcraft in the beta, many years ago. Before that the strategy games and in one particular modem game even told my future wife I loved her for the first time. Warcraft as you see is very much a part of my history.

The game totally catered to my personality. Obsession with game mechanics, leveling, gearing up and endless side goals took their toll. With increasing focus came new levels of things to tweak, endless rewards for a brain that liked certain buttons pushed.

Even worse that the addiction to the game was the reliance on the game in order to socialize with my friends. It didn’t matter if I got bored of the game, how could I leave my friends? So I would stay a bit longer… maybe it would get better.

But it didn’t. My level of obsession meant overplaying and burning out. It happened many times. Enough that people would joke, “oh, when are you coming back” and “oh, when are you leaving again”.

The problem with “quitting” WoW was that I wasn’t. I was postponing, delaying and pausing. Like a reformed drunk who still keeps his liquor cabinet stocked, secured with the flimsiest of locks. Always there… waiting for that tiny moment of failure.

So after a time, I would feel good again. I could try World of Warcraft again but this time I’d be reasonable. Maybe only an hour a day.

A month later and I’d be raiding, grinding, dying in real life while my avatars gained everything. Seven to eight hours a day and more on the weekends. A horrible cycle I was deathly aware of yet powerless to break out of.

I’d improved so many aspect of my life. A tireless optimizer born from a dysfunctional past. Why couldn’t I break free of WoW? I had made such wonderful gains during my frequent excursions. I wanted to do more, so much more.

The revelation that followed was completely devastating.

After recovering from the initial concept everything became clear. A proper conclusion to WoW. The ending I never had before. Such a simple gesture would set me free.

Getting my virtual affairs in order was a calming. A wonderful time to reflect on all I had done. Soon after, I made sure everyone knew my plans. I would be deleting all my characters. I would not be coming back to World of Warcraft. Reactions were, as you might expect, mixed.

Some people were supportive, others baffled and a few were oddly quiet. I recognize the last state as a valid tactic for dealing with pain so no hard feelings.

It became an event. Come raid with Poof one last time. Come PvP with Foof to celebrate our time together. Come take a screenshot and say goodbye. It was a lovely time of talking, merriment and a celebration of adventures together.

Each one of my characters received their own special ending. Each one a part of my personality and deserving of their own finale. Screenshots of these moments bring me great joy when I reminisce.

Looking back no longer evokes a time wasted, it conjures pleasant memories, shared experiences and pride for all the people I met. So many things we did and so many good times we had.

Looking forward, my gaming experiences do not weaken like I had feared. In fact, they strengthen me.

When you see me coming, I could be Poof the Druid, Foof the Warrior, Old Snake, Commander Shepard or any number of personas that are part of me.

I am a hero, I always was and now that I know, I always will be.

Sincerely,

Poof · Foof · Soof · Daniel · Odn · Shepard · Spock · Sgt Dildo · ForestMist · Neptuna · Old Snake

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